Thursday, January 4, 2018


Happy new year.
This is the first year that Hannan is in lower elementary.
Little did I know that this first week really drive us exhausted as there are so many things to prepare and think about especially when your child is a picky eater who strongly refuses to eat unfamiliar food.
So far, she did well and managed to stay calm and listens to instructions in class (of course I stalked on my daughter and no it's not creepy)
Her first complaint was she didn't like staying in school for long hours (8am to 5 pm) and that she missed us. (we miss u too sayang)
Suphie joined her in the new environment and so far doesn't seem to have any problem as she's only there for halfday although she is no longer with her big sister in the same class. She adapts really well.
Hopefully Hannan and Suphie will have fun in this school.
Insyaa Allah

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Body Issues- How to Reduce Weight in 2 Weeks

there is no advert on any slimming product or fitness regime in this post.

I just want to share / provide alternative perspective on fighting with weight issues.

I am not a person with the best body or the best weight. Believe me. But I have struggles too.

for me personally, I started since standard 3 since that boy that I secretly had crush on called me "DONUT" because of my fair, well rounded face. I still remember the way he was standing next to the field, shouting, calling me "Donut!Donut" as if "cheering" for me during my 4x4 relay.
He was the one who started it. He made the 10 year old girl me at that time, believed that I have some serious issues with my body.

Then at high school, of course I was still carrying those round cheeks, and I was not the skinny type either. I think my waist was 28 at that time. I was in plump category.

I was so embarassed with my face I never lipat my tudung.
The body issues also became serious towards the year end of high school.
I bought and drink slimming tea which taste horrible and made me constipate.
I bought and ate laxatives everyday to get rid of the food that I consumed.
I also refrained eating which caused me headaches everyday.

Then zaman university I initially refrained from rice. But I ate lots of buns/bread instead so it did the counter effect.

Then I just gave up because everything I did was not working. I finally kinda accepted my body image at that time. I was like, redha and stopped stressing about it. I started eating regularly, walked a lot (okay it was actually because my mahallah was the farthest from the faculty) and I also frequented the ladies' swimming pool.

After all that, I managed to lose some weight.

But I still tucked away my cheeks underneath the tudung.

I was still carrying that low self esteem. I didn't want anyone to notice me.

Fast forward, it took me more than 20 years to realise and accept that stress actually contribute to many health issues that is due to/caused by stress eating and  deteriorates your self-image.

It took me 20 years to realise that love from people surround you motivates you to work out because you want to be the one standing strong when the rest of your family feeling sick, or because you want to live longer to witness your children growing up and be there for them whenever they need you.

So ultimately, you don't need any secret ingredient to lose weight.
Reminder for myself too:
Stop overthinking or counting calories.
Just be moderate in your consumption.
Do the simplest form of exercise, be it kegel exercise (it counts too right?) or bicycle crunch on the bed or slow jog for even 1 minute, any minute of the day.

We can do this!

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Prince Court Medical Centre Paediatrician Review

As i said earlier, I want this blog to be a platform where people can find info so I want to share as much useful info that I can over here.

We had experience with 3 paeds so far namely:

1. Dr. Anna Padma
She was originally Suphie's paed during her birth, but ever since we got to know her, we chose to see her everytime for almost everything haha. Our kids love seeing her, talking to her and playing with so many toys in her room. All smiles and friendly all the time. Whenever we felt that our child need to be admitted, we wanted our child to be admitted under her care cos she is flexible and full of empathy as she understands parents' worries, concerns and hardships. She also made us realise that as parents, we need to be patient and remember that despite all the medications and treatments, any kind of illness will take its own course and most of them actually may not need strict medical intervention.

2. Dr. Mohd Feizel Alsiddiq 

I think he is one of the latest paed in the department, but definitely not junior in terms of experience. We decided to admit Muhammad under his care last few months because Dr Anna was away that week. A really nice guy,  always appear calm and ever than willing to carefully explain reasons to certain illness and also lab results, which other paeds may always overlook.

3. Dr Sharmila Kylasam

Dr Sharmila was the paed that took care of Hannan when she was in NICU. Despite few bad reviews/comments that I read about her before, we found that she is a very nice, attentive paed with attention to details. I think she's quite strict in the sense that you may not be able to negotiate between admitting or not admitting your child, or whether you can discharge your child the very next day until she is completely satisfied with your child's condition.  WHICH is actually a good thing because her only interest is to make sure that her little child patient is completely fine. She may appear unfriendly but trust me she's a really nice paed and we love her too 

Paediatric Surgery

1. Dr. Zuraidah Ibrahim

2. Dr. Syariz Izry Sehat

Dr Syariz and Dr Zuraidah are paediatric surgeons. However the 2 doctors are only available on alternate days as Dr. Syariz also gives consultation in Hospital Pakar An Nur Bangi while Dr. Zuraidah serves in Gleanegles. So if you want to send your child for circumcision and not able to reach them at Prince Court Medical centre, try reaching them at their other clinics :) We sent our kids for circumcision at about 3 months old

All in all, we never had any problem with any of Prince Court Medical Centre paeds alhamdulillah.

Friday, December 22, 2017

ramblings on polygamy

I woke up one morning feeling terribly disturbed by a dream
Performed solat Subuh which Hannan later joined me. After prayer, tears started to roll down my cheeks and all I wanted that time was a warm hug

Hannan: What's wrong ummi?
Me: I had a bad dream
Hannan: What was it about?

I couldn't say because the dream was about me being in a polygamy marriage. How can I explain to her? Although it was just a dream but the emotions were so intense.

I had a perception before that all men who chose to have more than 1 wife is a really, really BAD guy.  Because I felt that those men are guided by their lustful desires and there is never a genuine shari'ah needs (like to help a widow and etc) in our modern days to actually validate a second marriage.

But slowly, now, my worldview is changing. Not to say that I encourage polygamy but I was late to realise that Allah validates it because He knows humans are weak. Men are weak because they cannot contain their needs and desires (if they chose to marry for beauty and whatnot) and women are weak because they view married men are the best species.

Even the Prophet is not an exception as he is after all, a human being. But what brought him to an elevated status was that he was the best to his wives and none of his wives had any issues with his attitude because he is indeed, the best of character.

Fast forward to date,  I think there's one thing that men need to be clear  if they choose to flirt or have a second marriage, never ever put the blame on the wife. Don't give all those bullshit excuses such as "my wife do not know how to wear make up", "she doesn't make herself look pretty at home", "she's getting fat", "she's always busy with her work and kids and didn't have time for me" cos in the end, you are the one held responsible for everything. like if you see those symptoms or problems, you, MR HOUSEHOLD MANAGER, need to fix it first. That you need to provide all the financial needs and moral support to make it happen. That you need to communicate to make her understand. Don't simply throw the blames just to cover up your weaknesses. Just accept the fact that you are indeed weak.  I hope that this can bring out some sense in whoever reading this one day.

Note: this post is subsequent observation to my dream that morning and has nothing to do with my personal life as as at now

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

not in happy mood

I have been thinking about my emotions lately

I think I have turned into a not so happy person. I don't remember when was the last time I felt really happy.

Maybe it is the feminism thingy. The "I have the right to.." which brings me away from being someone who gives everything all the time to someone who demands. I don't know.

I know I have my support system around me but truth is, they have their own expectations on me. Cos I am the mommy


Khadijah ra must be the happiest woman.  a successful businesswoman,  had her own business. married the Prophet and had kids. She must be busier than ever but I don't remember reading any narration about her not being happy. How did she cope with that? did she have her own servant? was the Prophet sharing her burden?I remember the story about Fatimah ra who came to the Prophet telling him about how tired she was managing her household affairs. This issue had been there forever. And I really do not know how they managed. Do the sirah tell us how these women managed? I need to read more.

But I have not even finish my assgmt readings. (see? still stressed and worried)

Maybe this is the time when my imaan is at the lowest.

Source: google

Friday, September 29, 2017

To remind the heart and not the mind

I've been longing to blog
But over the past year, every time I wanted to write and publish, I would ask myself "why am I writing this?Why do I need to tell people this?"
I was kinda having my own internal conflict
plus there were so many stories last year about the pedophiles and the viral story about the chat groups that share pictures of small children among them that it made me scared

So..why am i writing here again?

Because..I recently made a self reflection and listed some of the reasons why I wanted to write at first:

1. Peer pressure (blogging was really popular back then and somebody suggested that I do it)
2. To earn extra income from Nuffnang (that somebody told me about this too) but hahahahahah clearly am not getting anything so far
3. I want to polish my writing skills (this is true)
4. I want to share. Somehow some people found my blog and email me personally how my writings /personal experience relate to them and some of them benefited from my review about something so it made me feel good

So I have decided that I wanna write again based on the last 2 reasons

As a start to many more writings after this (insyaa Allah) allow me to share something that I heard from a famous American speaker:

When you hear some advice that you have heard many times before and your mind tells you " I know about this already", tell your ego self that it's not your mind that needs to be reminded, but it's your heart

googled image

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Post birth story

Dr. Seri puts the baby on my chest and I couldn't feel prouder. I just gave birth to a perfectly healthy and fine baby boy..without any pain relief

I held his hands and touched his face while Dr. Seri stitching me down there
God.. I can feel the stitches coming back and forth..

I don't feel like doing this again -__-


Happy new year. This is the first year that Hannan is in lower elementary. Little did I know that this first week really drive us exhauste...